Creating a happy marriage and home starts with the wife and mother. Because we are the ones who set the temper of the home! We are the keepers of the home in more than the mundane domestic dailies of life! I think a bad attitude like when our husbands are like grizzly bears is definitely contagious- it is a thing of spirit and spirit pervades. You know, the whole house can be full of tension and NOTHING has even been said- it’s just there, like you can cut it with a knife! And soon after the children will begin to fight and shout and very soon tension is in the home. This promotes sniping at each other and other peace destroying behaviours….Lack of reverence and respect for your husband can turn many a teddy bear into a grizzly bear. Maybe if life has become unbearable with your husband, you should do a quick check on these things and if lacking, and attend to them. That is where a personal quiet time, soaking in the Word and developing a quiet gentle spirit and gaining strength comes in. Girding our loins and strengthening ourselves in the Word can create such a sweetness and peace in us, that it overflows to our husbands and to our children. It fills the house with its sweet perfume and dissipates the tension. It starts with us doing the tending and setting the temper. The rewards of doing this will be worth any challenge or changing we must do. Apart from pleasing God, it is better to hug a teddy bear anyday than wrestle with a grizzly bear.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks

‘Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3

It is a medical fact that our brain is our greatest sexual organ. Desire starts there. When the body is tired and intimacy seems like one more ‘chore’ before blessed sleep, I have found that it helps to dwell on what made you fall in love with your husband in the first place. Bring to mind all the little things he said or did that spoke to you in your early days together. Remember how he looked, how he smelt..his aftershave, even his sweat and the smoothness of his skin, his eyes, his voice. Remember too the intimate moments you shared in the past and let them intoxicate you again with rekindled love for your man. Cultivate a thankful heart for being his wife and look forward to celebrating that oneness in the beauty of the marital bed. True intimacy is not what is shown in pornography. Under no circumstances focus on other people’s intimacy…you want to foster desire for your own husband’s embrace. As you dwell on your husband’s desirability, more often than not, your mind will start pining for his embrace. This god-given desire usually is stronger than tiredness. The Shulamite in the Song of Songs fantasized about her husband’s body and eagerly looked forward to his lovemaking..there certainly is a place for fantasizing about intimacy with your husband. I find that by thinking of all the wonderful things about my spouse, and dwelling on them, that I can overcome chronic fatigue (through illness) and eagerly await intimacy with him. I believe that this is a great way to help overcome fatigue and lack of desire without sinning.. Take a look at the Song of Solomon and rekindle the flame

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

‘My beloved is white and ruddy, Chief among ten thousand.’ Song of Solomon 5:10

Ever since that wonderful day my love and I became as one,

I realized that our married life’s journey had only just begun.

I asked the Lord to show me how my joy could be complete,

And He brought to mind His Holy Word as I sat at His feet.

He told me that I would have to be willing to lay down my life

In showing the sacrificial loving that befits a godly wife.

He told me if I surrendered to His great marriage plan,

I would be forever blessed with a very happy man.

For I was born a woman who was called to be a wife,

A woman of great value and a pearl of great price.

I was called to be a helper to a man I call my own,

To lovingly care for him and make for us a home.

To always be thinking of him and how to please him best,

And to be a shoulder to lean on if he should need to rest.

I’d be someone he could talk to without fear of betrayal,

A listener and confidante not given to telling tales.

I decided I would seek the Lord daily and ask for His direction

In making me an instrument of His peace and affection.

A wife and treasure who would bless her man all her days,

In meeting all of his needs through learning of his ways.

So I will learn by prayerful watching and I will take every measure

To be a willing helper who brings her man much gain and pleasure

In putting him above all else except for our God in Heaven,

Showing him God’s marriage plan by being a true blessing.

With Father’s Day rapidly approaching, I felt it appropriate to write a reminder as to who should lead in your home. I know us moms usually handle the day-to-day tasks involved in parenting children. We cook, clean, change diapers, kiss the boo-boos and train the children in many areas (some even educate via homeschooling). These duties can often make us think we’re in charge; and since it seems our fleshly bent is to rule over our husbands [Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Genesis 3:16], it should be no surprise when we try and take the lead over the whole house.

Of course, we know this is wrong. God is the topmost head of our homes (or He should be!) and then our husbands. Our taking care of children, cleaning house, etc…. are the responsibilities of being a wife and mother (see Proverbs 31, and the rest of Proverbs for verses on parenting!) and the exact duties we do may vary, depending on what our husbands ask of us. I know that in my home, my husband pays all the bills and handles the finances. That’s his preference, and I honor that. I know in many homes, this is something that the wife does. There’s no right or wrong, it’s whatever you and your husband decide should be done in your home, with the final decision coming from the husband. This is letting Daddy lead the way things will go in your home!

Aside from the fact that daddy’s should lead the home; there are other blessings in stepping back and letting your man truly lead.

• Your children will be seeing an example of God’s design for marriage: wife honoring the husband and father leading his family.
• The father will in-turn be shown the respect that he deserves, and scripture says is due him, from his wife. (see Ephesians 5:28-33)
• When the proper “chain of command” is in place, as God designed it, the family will be happier and things flow more smoothly; thus Daddy will also then be able to enjoy his family!

This love is so special that we share
And I appreciate all your love and care,
For you are as a shepherd to me,
Tenderly leading like Jesus would be.
Helping me upwards when I’ve done wrong,
With hands tender and gentle yet sturdy and strong.
Showing Christ’s life in example and word,
His Love taught in deeds seen but seldom heard.
My eyes have seen Christ’s life lived in your own,
And I tell you now Dad, I do love you so.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks 2001
‘The righteous man walks in his integrity, his children are blessed after him’ Proverbs 20:7