Sometimes in the routines of life- in the seemingly mundane tasks of everyday living, I can see why women get exasperated with being homemakers. No sooner have we washed, dried and folded a load of laundry, than the hamper is filling up again! The freshly made bed has been sat on again, the pristine bathroom has toothpaste in the basin and the toilet seat has been left up- again! We won’t even think about the pots that need scrubbing and the plates needing washing- for the third time today.Life can seem so boring and repetitive! Especially when there are little ones to look after and you are in desperate need of a nap- and they aren’t. Monotony sometimes fuels fatigue- or maybe the fatigue is brought on through the monotony of the mundane running of a home.Whatever the reason, we can dwell on our many tasks, and as we see our husbands off to work, we can brood about our lot in life. We think we are serving our husbands, and we are- but we haven’t got a servant’s heart. We need an attitude adjustment.

Instead of focussing on our husband’s “freedom” as he leaves for work, we should consider that it is WE who have the choice part in life. For we can for the most part, pick and choose what jobs are to be done on any particular day. We can rest when we need it, make a phone call, watch a TV program, use the computer or enjoy a hobby. Or we can go to the store and get out into the thick of things, only to return to the relative calm of our own home when we have had enough.

Unfortunately, our husbands do not enjoy the same priviledges. They are out in the thick of the “dog-eat-dog” mentality of the world all day. Restricted in activities and choices- they do not enjoy the freedom that we have. Certainly, they have to face stresses we do not often have to worry about- pleasing the boss and producing. Employment is always about production when you come down to the bottom line! And that is often stressful.
How our husband can enjoy his home and family and unwind from the enormous pressures that he bears will depend upon us! If he comes home to a peaceful home that is reasonably well maintained with his wife and family genuinely glad to see him, he will be able to not only unwind but feel appreciated. It is for you that he works and worries about maintaining his job.

Compared to our domestic woes, his worries are by far the more gruelling and we would do well to try to develop a compassionate and empathetic attitude to him. Apart from being affectionate when he arrives home, I believe we should have planned our day to have the majority of our domestic chores completed so that we can be available to our man.

Sometimes a man will need to be pleasantly silent and reflective- just to turn off from the constant interaction of the day. Understand that this is not a reflection on you- allow him the time to unwind. When he is ready, he will share his day with you. Try to be attentive when he wants to talk.

It is a good thing to prepare the evening meal in the morning if possible. That way, dinner will be on time and you will be less tired. Try to set the table in the afternoon. You will be glad later on that you did. Have the children pick up their toys before Daddy comes home, and make sure bikes and scooters have been removed from the driveway.

Laundry is best done- and by done I mean, washed, dried, folded and/or ironed and put away early in the day- it is not good to be folding it when the evening comes and your husband wants to talk and enjoy your company! As his wife, your place is by his side.

Try to have the children cleaned up and freshen up your makeup and brush your hair before your husband arrives home! Make him glad to come home to you! Try not to overwhelm him as soon as he gets in the door with the woes of the day and the disciplining of the children. Remember, he needs time to unwind.

This all sounds like a lot of effort and work for a wife, but we must keep our focus on being a helpmeet to our husband. It is not unreasonable for a man to have a clean shirt, socks in the drawer and in pairs, dinner ready and the home tidy and exuding a peaceful tone, and his wife in a welcoming mood when he gets in the door. This is what will keep him motivated in providing for you- his family.

A servant’s heart is needed for this wonderful job of being a helpmeet. God has given us the choice role in marriage, one that He in His Wisdom has ordained as the woman’s role. May keeping an open mind of the cares your husband bears daily help you develop a servant’s heart- for to serve your husband is no unreasonable service, but a God-given role designed to bless not only your marriage and family, but you as a godly wife, mother and homemaker. And that doesn’t sound unreasonable to me!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Goodnight, my Dear,” I whispered

As I turned out the light-

Asleep, you didn’t hear me,

My words were lost in the night.

My sighs joined your soft breathing

As you slumbered by my side-

Another chance of forgiveness

Would again be denied.

I tried to tell you this morning

That I didn’t mean what I said,

But you pouted and turned away-

I spoke to the back of your head.

I’ve searched my heart for comfort

And words to bring us both some peace,

But you will not let me say them,

And it’s causing us both grief.

As I toss and turn beside you

I have turned to God to pray

For a chance of asking forgiveness

And that you won’t just turn away.

I know the morning will soon be here

And I don’t want the brand new day

To bring more grief and misunderstanding

Like what we have suffered here today.

I am going to have to talk to you now,

As I have wanted to all day long-

For the longer we let this hurt go,

The harder it will be to get along.

So please remember now my Dear

That God wants us to be as one

And to never keep an argument going

After the setting of the sun.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath”

Ephesians 4:26

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a fairy godmother who waved her magic wand and transformed our homes into pristine havens that required no upkeep from us? Then we could do that which we really loved to do without feeling at all guilty.Some of us tend to live our lives sipping coffee amidst dirty laundry and dust and mess, as if we are expecting her arrival anytime- ready to bail us out of our mess at the flick of a wrist. The family is unhappy with us and we are overwhelmed with chores that have banked up.And there is more bad news- the fairy godmother’s not coming! Well, she might if we are able to afford a maid, but for the majority of us, a maid is a luxury we can’t afford. We are IT!Over the years, I have found that I have procrastinated about housework so much that I have spent more time planning how to simplify it, organise it and pardon the pun- sanitise it, than if I had just rolled up my sleeves and got on with it. It would have been done sooner and I would have been able to enjoy my leisure time more than I did with my parrot on the shoulder telling me that the work still hadn’t been done!Wisdom through life experience and hindsight has taught me to do that which I don’t enjoy first then relax. Because it is almost impossible to relax when you have chores that are calling out your name!

God has called us to be domestic- to be the keepers of our home. Whilst it is important that we don’t eat the bread of idleness, I don’t think that He intends us to have no other pursuits in life other than housework. There has to be a balance. The woman who alphabetises her spices and has cupboards that are washed out every week is as unbalanced as the woman who can’t find a clean shirt for her husband or a clean cup to drink from.

I believe the Christian woman has to ensure that her home is clean, her family’s clothes are washed and ironed and that meals are on time and nutritious. She doesn’t have to fret that her home is not like Home Beautiful- but her home should be welcoming to her friends and nurturing to her family. That’s what Home is all about.

If the home is reasonably clean and her husband is contented and her children happy, then I feel that is all that is required of her. It takes effort, discipline and diligence to see that these things are attended to, and it is the wife’s task, for she is Keeper of The Home. The Christian wife sets the temper of the home and it is her godly responsibility to be domestic. It is her calling and hers alone- she must look after her home with or without help, for unfortunately, the fairy godmother’s not coming!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks