May
Periodically, questions are asked on the T2CHK message board that I believe would be of interest to our other readers. I will post those questions and my answers here in A Word Fitly Spoken….
The question:
Lately I’ve gotten advice from a couple of different places to the effect that I need to be taking some time for myself. The idea is that I need downtime to unwind and not be on call as a Momma, to get a break… You get the idea.
But I’m wondering if that’s really the way it ought to be. Is it reasonable for a mom to expect to be able to get some time off regularly? Or should she be willing, even able, to just keep going. Should she be getting that emotional “rest” some way other than taking several hours away from the family every week?
I do seem to feel better and relate better to my children when I get some alone time. I get irritable when I don’t get any breaks. Should I take breaks or do I really just need an attitude adjustment, or to build in an outlet some other way? I’ve always been the kind of person who needed some time to be alone. So being with other adults without the children doesn’t meet the need I’m talking about here.
Most of us know that we want it…. but you asked if it was scriptural.
I differentiate between time alone with God and time with others. Everyone must get alone with God. We are commanded to pray, to worship and to commune with God. This in itself is enough to sustain us. Not just sustain though, He is enough to fill us and make our hearts glad, give us strength to go on.
But He has condescended to give us other pleasures in life. He has given us each other, in fact I believe that He has created us so that we need each other. We need other spiritually mature adults in our lives. And He uses this relationship need to work through us. That’s one reason we are called The Body of Christ. We all work together, weep together, laugh together and grow together. And all of that can’t happen in 1 or 2 hours on a Sunday morning!
There isn’t a scripture verse that I can think of that specifically says, “Women, take some time away from your families.” But there are principles in God’s Word of rest, abstinence, coming apart, fellowship, carrying burdens of others,iron sharpening iron and retreating away from the cares of life in order to refresh and renew.
Women really do need other women. I haven’t studied this as much as I would like to, but I believe we can see just in the single scripture that motivates this ministry, Titus 2:2-5, that there is something in how God created women that draws them to each other for friendship, support, admonishment, teaching and help to go on with life.
There are principles in scripture that also tell us that we are to be encouragers of the brethern, and that means sistern too smile.gif We’re called by God to help each other on our journey. Often in the middle of children, homes, work and marriage, there is barely opportunity to pray, much less hear encouraging words from others, or to sit under the teaching of a wiser, older woman. So, we come apart to hear what God wants to say to us and sometimes, we come apart with others like in a retreat or ladies night out.
Now what your particular group does on it’s night out can tell on you. We don’t need a rowdy rip-roaring night on the town. We need a meeting with a purpose, and a time of searching and seeking. For instance, I have gone on shopping trips and trips to VBS training with a group of friends that became a really deep time of sharing, praying and helping each other in our spiritual journeys. It is all what you make of it and how you keep your mind focused on being sober-minded, mature, self-controlled, gentle and sincere.
Each time you come to this site, each time you read the e-zine or pick up any ministry magazine and sit down to read, or watch a Christian tv show where the Word is preached, you are in effect coming apart and getting time to yourself. I don’t see any difference in that than in getting together with girl friends to enjoy some fellowship. I do believe that we are created to fellowship with others. And thought here are times in our lives when we are alone and God uses that alone-ness to draw us closer to Himself, our lives are created to share with others.
Of course there are always two sides to every story. And this is no different. Abuse of time away from family can be devastating. If your time away from your family is causing your work to go un-done, causing problems between you and your husband or causing your children feel uncared for, its time to re-think it. Feeling like one must constantly have that time away is not healthy either. There is some deeper need there than a need to rest and refresh. Those deep needs can only be met by the Lord Jesus and I encourage you to seek Him out and lay those unmet needs at His feet.
Finally, I think we should be aware that there are families who have different convictions about time spent away from the family. I don’t see anything anti-scriptural about taking children everywhere and never being away from children and family if the family members are not suffering with this and mother and father are content. However, it is equally scriptural to leave children with trusted adults to get away for a godly refreshing.
